· You are driving faster than the taxi drivers and pizza delivery vans
· The cardboard house they are putting up down the road will be worth more than a $1,000,000 when completed
· Its January 8th, its 72F (22C) and you have to put suncream on the kids
· You are still swimming in the open air pool and it’s November
· You need to buy some charcoal for a bbq on Easter Sunday – but not to worry – all the shops are still open
· You go to a restaurant with your friends and their kids and no one raises an eyebrow, sighs loudly or mutters about you under their breathe.
· It’s the middle of January and everyone (except you) still has their Christmas decorations up
· It’s the middle of March and some people still have their Christmas decorations up
· You can go into your garden and pick an orange or a lemon off your tree
· The mother with the toddler in Walmart is asking the shop assistant where she can find the ‘ammo’
· There is a ‘stop’ sign before getting into one of the rare roundabouts
· You have been waiting for over 10 minutes at a red light
· Your child is being taught to write using capital letters
· It is seen to be a good thing to stop children going to school
· You are out with people all getting merrily sloshed and it becomes apparent these people will be driving home
· Most people you meet don’t actually come from California
· Your new neighbours, who you have known for 5 minutes, invite you round for drinks, pick you up from the airport when you return from a UK trip and take you on ‘vacation’ with them
· You need a PhD to understand the process of getting your child into the neighbourhood school
· It’s still 100F in September
· you are 11 hours away from everything that is real to you
· the TV is so complicated and so bad you turn in off and download everything British from iPlayer instead
· The cardboard house they are putting up down the road will be worth more than a $1,000,000 when completed
· Its January 8th, its 72F (22C) and you have to put suncream on the kids
· You are still swimming in the open air pool and it’s November
· You need to buy some charcoal for a bbq on Easter Sunday – but not to worry – all the shops are still open
· You go to a restaurant with your friends and their kids and no one raises an eyebrow, sighs loudly or mutters about you under their breathe.
· It’s the middle of January and everyone (except you) still has their Christmas decorations up
· It’s the middle of March and some people still have their Christmas decorations up
· You can go into your garden and pick an orange or a lemon off your tree
· The mother with the toddler in Walmart is asking the shop assistant where she can find the ‘ammo’
· There is a ‘stop’ sign before getting into one of the rare roundabouts
· You have been waiting for over 10 minutes at a red light
· Your child is being taught to write using capital letters
· It is seen to be a good thing to stop children going to school
· You are out with people all getting merrily sloshed and it becomes apparent these people will be driving home
· Most people you meet don’t actually come from California
· Your new neighbours, who you have known for 5 minutes, invite you round for drinks, pick you up from the airport when you return from a UK trip and take you on ‘vacation’ with them
· You need a PhD to understand the process of getting your child into the neighbourhood school
· It’s still 100F in September
· you are 11 hours away from everything that is real to you
· the TV is so complicated and so bad you turn in off and download everything British from iPlayer instead
No comments:
Post a Comment